Crop tops and high-waist midi skirts are a match made in heaven in so many ways, I feel like I missed out a lot by refusing to wear them until now. And all because of issues I have with my body. Yes, I have a ton of them, and my wardrobe pretty much revolves around the concept of hiding these flaws and highlighting the parts I’m most proud of. Or more accurately, mixing and matching clothes to create the best, most flattering shape for my body type. While it’s easy to say that I can just go to the gym to sculpt my figure… I have absolutely zero interest in it. And you can count on me to fail at all kinds of sports, so that’s definitely out of the picture as well. I think I am allergic to physical activities.
Ever since crop tops became a trend last spring/summer, I’ve been rather apprehensive about wearing them myself, even if I found the concept refreshing and cute. I’ve explained a number of times already how my body type manages to maintain my overall figure without diet or exercise but somehow misses the lower stomach / abdominal area right after I eat.
And the point of crop tops is to show exactly this area. My chest-waist-hips ratio is far from spectacular (if there is that popular S-curve among Koreans, mine is an I-line). Heck, even my narrow shoulders were once an issue because I thought they made my head look bigger than it actually is and my body smaller than my head. Bobble head much.
I wasn’t so critical about it while growing up (circa my dark ages when personal style wasn’t a priority at all) and only started to notice these issues as I started modeling and looking at how different kinds of clothes fit me and how differently I felt wearing each one. You just know it when something feels totally off, and when something feels so right. And I couldn’t quite put why I felt uncomfortable wearing certain kinds of clothes.
I admire girls who could pull off bodycon-anything without any apprehensions, regardless of side fat bulges, bloated abdomens, or the lack thereof. I have a deeper admiration for those who can wear anything and not be conscious at all. How I dreamed to also have that “free” way of thinking.
But alas, I can’t help it – I can be *very* critical of myself. Sometimes I spend so much time thinking of myself that I don’t have time to think of other people anymore. I’m on a constant, life-long quest to improve on things that is/can be personally problematic. This doesn’t just apply to wearing clothes, but also life in general. For my own sake and for my own sanity, I am always trying to be better by pushing myself outside the box that I often hide in. This is mostly achieved by changing perspectives (that I am actually blessed in a lot of ways and that I should spend my time being thankful instead of worrying about unnecessary stuff) and by acceptance (looking at the endless possibilities I can do with what I currently have instead of sulking about things I don’t have).
And boy, did I make a huge leap bringing myself to change my perspective on something that has bothered me for a long time. It *is* completely possible for me to wear a crop top! All I had to do was find the perfect bottom for it that I will feel comfortable and confident wearing.
Pencil and bodycon skirts with tight crops were out of the question, as I actually tried it for laughs and only made me look like a little girl trying to look mature. I tried wearing it with high-waist pants and shorts too, but it only emphasized the fact that my torso is a box.
(On a related note, if anyone is interested, some K-pop fans have called out both SNSD Tiffany and SISTAR Bora a few times for having boxy torsos. But with proper styling, look at how Tiffany managed to create a more feminine silhouette!)
Then suddenly, as if my prayers have been answered, Apartment 8 came out with a series of full, circle, a-line midi skirts in different colors!
Lightbulb moment. This is just the longer version of the skirt silhouette that I’m always wearing! The trusty high-waist can just cover my problem areas as it always has, and the conservative length can balance out the bold, skin-baring crop. Why did I just discover this formula now?
I am a firm believer of striking a balance when it comes to wearing separates, and this combination has my seal of approval.
Play with strengths despite weaknesses. This is how everything in life should go! I can’t believe I’ve been crippled only because I was so hung-up on being imperfect and looking at myself as someone with a lot of flaws. I can’t believe I’ve even allowed myself to think of the most unfortunate excuses, like how I may have developed a bad case of social anxiety disorder after all the trauma and cray I had to deal with the past few years (though I am still afraid of answering calls, and still cannot do small talk without feeling awkward), or how my life has become such a routine that a different future seems absolutely unthinkable. Revelations kept on coming after every year, and it became convenient for me to believe that I can’t trust human beings, no matter how pure your intentions are, if I don’t want to be hurt or backstabbed.
But ultimately, I was only being too hard on myself, trying so hard to avoid being judged by people I have yet to meet! I don’t know how I was able to shut myself out from the world just because I was afraid of facing people (save for family/relatives/close friends). I was getting invited to so many opportunities yet I let my fear become my weakness. Everything is suddenly funny and trivial after letting it out. Now, it’s time to give life a chance.
Sponsored post. With my little yearly drama.
(Drafted this at 3AM in the morning, when I am usually the most expressive. Talking when the sun is out stresses me out D:)